ask, seek, knock

been contemplating lately...
life has been so tiring...
loneliness in the middle of a crowd...
laughing yet killing yourself inside...
thinking you are just okay...
world making you realize otherwise...
when you learned of it, you are already drowned...
being a lot of things to others...
being helpless for yourself...
lots of people around...
no one to talk to...
thinking no one of them will understand...
can't even understand yourself...
a rollercoaster ride...
lots of highs and lows...
when at high, asking for more...
when at low, never imagined self to be feeling that low...
you are strong, aren't you?...

"ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. "
matt 7:7

but then

"when you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures. "
james 4:3

should check my motives...
gotta contemplate more...