Careerwoman

n. babaeng nangangarir (as defined by will, insisting that he is one)




starbucks to me is more than just frappuccinos and belgian waffles. it is a place where i could say i had some of my best conversations. may it be with friends, roommates, batchmates, or officemates. may it be in katipunan, greenbelt or eastwood.

and as expected, starbucks never failed to serve its purpose during my last visit.

SETTING: Starbucks G4 balcony overlooking the Ayala center

CAST OF CHARACTERS:
Mommy Shawie - the only soul among the group who is settled in marriage. who sees her husband only during weekends

Pria - Jasmine Trias look-alike, i mean, the prettier version of Jasmine, and who has a to-die for american accent

Maebe - the first-lady to the congressman.. ooopps,put it as the second lady to the congressman, and i'm not sure if the congressman knows about this

Aby - the pretty little girl and her big mouth with her never-ending stories about her college friends and a drama class she had.

Leslie - that's me! the ever-reliable and awesome, beauty and brains training assistant (what?!? this is my blog ryt?)

Will - a half-filipino, half- filipina, self-confessed goddess


during the last day of training, the whole of batch 18 decided to go out and unwind a bit after 2 weeks of pressure in HOT unit. i, being their "perpetual help" in HOT unit since they were left only under my care with no trainer, agreed that it is high time for me to go out as well. the past week was deadly - pressures from work, family responsibilities, disappointments, endless contemplations and a beauty pageant.

unfortunately, not all was able to go. and abe had to leave early as i literally forced him to render EH (extra hours of work)for that nyt. so we said our goodbyes to him while i digged into mommy shawie's plate for some sisig from Dencio's. (grabe, ang sarap ng sisig na ito!)

and then, starbucks got into the picture. i know i should be going home at that point as the next day will be a long trip to the province. but then, it's not everyday that you take a sip of your coffee with model-looking individuals ( hmmm.. will, your eyes!). and it's not everyday that you get to see robin padilla and rhoderick paulate.. hehe.. especially rhoderick!=)

and so the meaty conversations begun. evryone started to open up about their own life which i would say i enjoyed a lot, leaving me with another set of life's great lessons. for the past three weeks in training i tried to put up a very professional facade in front of them. but my attempts failed. as i started to discovered the beauty in each personality. and so i would say i went out not with my trainees but with a bunch of friends...

fallen

just trying to look into old stuffs when i saw an old notebook with this song. my first band-like performance in Yakal during Jologs200k with ew1 pips.. original composition by smith.




Smith on guitar
Ralph on drum ( 1 lang)
Leya on bass guitar
Glenny and Leslie for vocals
on violin, oh my i forgot his name but i'll edit this as soon as i remember his name

and so it goes...

Chorus:
Fallen over you
It's just so hard to do
I've kept it all inside
After all this time

I
Lately, I've been falling over you
Lately, I've been looking for your smile
Maybe you have fallen for me too
Baby, can't you see

* Chorus

II
Lately, you've been walking by my side
Lately, all the teardrops seem to hide
Maybe you've been running through my mind
Baby, could it be?

* Repeat chorus till fade

left alone

(a poem written for me by a friend as this describes daw how stupid i am with love..i don't know if that's a compliment but to that friend, thanks! =)...)

you laughed,
i smiled.
you wept,
i cried.
what you began,
i finished.
what you started,
i furnished.

you hoped,
i wished.
you jumped,
i leapt.
you watched her,
while i stared at you.
you longed for her,
i prayed for you.

you gave her
what i offered.
you brought her
what i sought.
you thought of her
when i dreamt of you.

when you won her
i lost you.


.

L.S.S.

2nd day at the training room just ended. yup! after 8 months on the floor, i'm back in training again. not retraining though. im way too good for that.. wahaha.. seriously, im just gonna play the part of the training assistant for a bunch of aspiring agents. this means a lot of things to me.. time off the phone , petiks moments, got to meet other people, do a little power-tripping, new environment being on the 29th flr this time, a new sked, and the thing is that i'm basically doing nothing! the good part is i'm being paid for that.. im just asked to share my experiences and assist in teaching the systems. and oh, we listen to music (cds) as well.. not bad for a job, huh!

speaking of music, here's my LSS. loved it the first time i heard it sang by Lea Salonga in her Broadway Concert.. enjoy..=)

I Don't Know How To Love Him
(from the play Jesus Christ Superstar)

I don't know how to love him
What to do, how to move him
I've been changed, yes really changed
In these past few days
When I've seen myself
I seem like someone else

I don't know how to take this
I don't see why he moves me
He's a man
He's just a man
And I've had so many
Men before
In very many ways
He's just one more

Should I bring him down
Should I scream and shout
Should I speak of love
Let my feelings out?
I never thought I'd come to this
What's it all about?

Don't you think it's rather funny
I should be in this position?
I'm the one
Who's always been
So calm so cool
No lover's fool
Running every show
He scares me so
I never thought I'd come to this
What's it all about?

Yet
If he said he loved me
I'd be lost
I'd be frightened
I couldn't cope
Just couldn't cope
I'd turn my head
I'd back away
I wouldn't want to know
He scares me so
I want him so
I love him so

sonnet xvii:love

(an appetizer for the love month.. pirated from the pages of the ew1 boys' logbook.. yup, the logbook's with me. don't tell rey.. hehe.. shhhh...)


i don't love you as if you were the salt-rose, topaz
or arrow of carnation that propagate fire;
i love you as certain dark things are loved
secretly, between the shadow and the soul.
i love you as the plant that doesn't bloom and carries
hidden within itself the light of those flowers,
and thanks to your love, darkly in my body
lives the dense fragrance that rises from the earth.

i love you without knowing how, or when, or from where,
i love you simply without problems or pride;
i love you in this way because i don't know any other way of loving.

but this, in which there is no I or you,
so intimate that your hand upon my chest is my hand,
so intimate that when i fall asleep it is your eyes that close.

--pablo neruda

Self-Serendipity

(accidentally discovering yourself after losing it)

After a night of all-out singing and after watching a movie I so long wanted to see, I realized something...

I've lost myself.

I am not the person I thought I would become. My priorities have changed, leading me to a life I never thought living. Others may call it maturity. Some might not even notice. But to me, it's maneouver, changing lanes or maybe more of turning to a different direction.

Where had the funny, optimistic, hopeless romantic girl gone? How could I just trade all I dreamt of for the sake of convenience?

Well, of course, this is a little safer. And the Me-now will be satisfied. But safety and satisfaction does not guarantee happiness and fulfillment. No regrets though. Never. Not even a bit. I still know what I want and am still praying for it to happen. But the Me-now, with all the life's lessons and maturity, should look for the Me-I used to know, the Me- I've Iost, to be the Me-I wanted to be -- the Real-Me.