the letter

dear mom,

there's something i gotta tell you. something that has been going on with me for like days, weeks, maybe a month or two. a "phase" i don't know exactly how, why and when it started...i know i've been through something like this before but i never thought this one could be so strong that it has already been eating me out. well, maybe because i never told a single soul about it, and before i realized, it had already taken control over me. for once in my life, i don't want to be the responsible woman i thought i am or that i'm making myself to be. i just want to be that little child i had set aside in my pursuit to take control of the situation. that little child who can just cry and be weak without the feeling of guilt afterwards.

i don't know if you will be able to read this. i hope not coz it might just bring up disappointments in you about me. i don't want that to happen, of course. i know i am your source of strength and i would want it to remain that way. same goes for the rest of the family and for people who, as well, matters so much to me. but sometimes, as much as you would want to give, you can give no more because you have already given your all. it might not be enough but it is already your ALL.

but whether you read this or not, this letter also serves as the punctuation mark or better yet an exclamation point to mark the end of this "phase". i'm not letting go of it ,though, i'm just simply moving forward. i think i don't have a choice but to take responsibility once more, gather up the remaining strength and move forward.

don't worry, though. i'm already working on it and He is working with me which makes every yoke much easier. finally, i just wanna say that i love you so much. that i'm ready to go through everything for you. and i'll be doing that with great joy.

with much love....