all about pain.

in life, we do decisions that we know would really hurt us.we know it would be really painful but we do it nonetheless.

because we have goals. because we look at what it would be like after the pain. because the pain is worth it.

that's exactly how it was like when i decided to move here in dubai. i know it would be difficult. i know the things i will miss. i know it would not be easy. but i did it anyway. for my family. just that thought makes it feel all worth it.

sometimes, though, because of our focus on our goals, we belittle the pain. we never really knew the depth of the ache hurt until you are there, stuck in the deepest misery. trust me, there will a lot of times when you will question your decision. you will feel so miserable until you think of the goal. then you will be fine again ready to take the challenge. and another cycle starts.

more than a year now in dubai and i know i should be over this thought. i was. until i went to the dentist one day and decided to have braces on. i know it would be painful and it would really really hurt but when i was there lying on that dentist's bed, all i can think of was the goal. and the goal will be worth it.

but after a day of conducting training with braces on, i feel like hating myself for bringing me into this situation. i belittled the pain until now that i can barely eat and the flesh inside my mouth is paining to the highest extent of torment. i have no escape but sleep. i hope it would be like earrings or make up or contact lenses that i remove after my day so that my night would be more comfortable. but that is not the case.

today is just my first day with the braces. i know i had a long way to go. but i wil have to endure it. just like how they say it, "no pain, no gian". aja!