Ang mga sinabi mo ay pawang katotohanan.. Sana'y marami pang Pinoy na tulad mo.. Saludo kami sa'yo, Sky_rules! Mabuhay ka!
Pirated (hehe) from peyups.com
Contributed by Sky_rules (Edited by alteredbeast)
Posted on Monday, June 05, 2006 @ 05:06:13 PM
Biased na kung biased, pero Pinay lang ang gusto kong maging partner habang buhay. Sabi ng officemates ko, baliw daw ako dahil ang dami namang magagandang Kana na naglipana sa paligid ko. Sabi ko, hindi kabaliwan yun. Maraming rason bakit Pinay lang ang gusto ko. Bakit naman hindi? Ang Pinay, walang katulad.. naiiba sa lahat.. bukod-tangi. Yan ang Pinay.
Dream come true para sa maraming Pilipino ang magkaroon ng banyagang gf, lalo na pag naiisip si Pamela Anderson o di kaya si Carmen Elektra . Marahil, naging malaki talaga ang impluwensiya ng media sa konsepto ng marami tungkol sa kagandahan. Ikaw ba naman ang manood palagi ng porno sa DVD at mangulekta ng Playboy , tignan ko kung hindi mo pagpapantasyahan ang mga Kana . Ako, hindi naman mahilig sa “well endowed” na babae. Mas sexy pa rin para sa akin ang Pinay kahit pa hindi malaki ang hinaharap niya. Marahil, magaling lang din talagang magdala ng kaniyang sarili ang Pinay kaya’t malakas ang dating kahit sabihin pang “kinapos sa biyaya ng Langit”. Kahit sa kulay ng balat, lamang pa rin ang Pinay kung ako ang tatanungin. Ayaw ko nga ng kulay singkamas na tinubuan ng tagiptip na balat. Kakaiba pa rin ang kulay ng Pilipina. Sabi nga ng mga dayuhan, exotic ang dating. Para sakin, kayumanggi rules kaya, Pinay rules.
Sabagay, natural lang siguro na isipin ng iba na I’m nuts . Nagkalat nga naman ang mga sexy na Kana dito sa paligid ko. Pero kahit pa mismong si Miss America ang magkagusto sa akin, mas pipiliin ko pa din maging gf ang isang Pilipina. Ayaw kong pumatol sa American o kahit pa Puerto Rican ,Brazilian , o Italian . Sa aking opinyon, mas maganda ang Pinay higit sa kahit anong lahi. Maganda siya hindi lang sa panlabas na anyo, higit lalo sa kaniyang pagkatao.
Kahit kanino ka magtanong, isa lang ang sasabihin sa iyo tungkol sa Pinay. Wala nang sisipag pa sa kaniya. Kahit lampas na sa oras ng trabaho, hindi titigil ang Pinay hanggang hindi natatapos ang dapat gawin. Hindi ka iiwan sa ere at sisiguraduhing maayos ang lahat bago umalis ng opisina. Kaya masarap katrabaho ang Pinay eh. Napaka-reliable.
Kung talino naman ang pag-uusapan, lalong hindi pahuhuli ang Pilipina. Sisiw sa kanya ang lahat ng gawain. Ang bilis pumik-ap ng mga instructions. Confident. Sa pakikipag-usap na gamit ang English, hinding-hindi rin siya papatalo. Educated kasi at likas ang pagiging matalino. Willing matuto at madaling turuan. Kaya naman kahit anong lahi ang tanungin mo, bilib sila sa Pinay.
Halimbawa na lang ang sarili kong ina. Ganun na lang ang paghanga ko sa nanay ko, na nagtrabaho bilang nurse sa Middle East, dahil kilalang-kilala siya bilang kauna-unahang Pinay na naging nursing administrator ng isang government hospital doon. Dahil sa strict enforcement ng work ethics, marami syang nakabanggang tao na baluktot ang pag-iisip. Pero hindi siya natinag o natakot. Yan ang nanay, isang kahanga-hangang babae tulad ng marami pang ibang Pilipina.
Walang kasing bango ang Pinay. Malayo pa lang, amoy mo na kung may papalapit sa iyo na Pinay. Kung hindi amoy pabango, amoy mabango. Hindi malansa o masangsang at lalong walang BO. Sabi nila, ang amoy daw ng tao depende sa kinakain nya. Pero bakit ang Pinay kahit anong kainin, mabango pa rin? Hindi kaya likas na dugyot lang ang mga dayuhang kababaihan? Kahit pa kumain ng tinapa, binurong talangka, sardinas, o bagoong ang Pinay araw-araw, mabango pa rin siya. Bukod dun, likas na masinop at malinis sa katawan. Hindi lang basta naliligo sa pabango kaya mabango. Talaga lamang maselan sa pagiging malinis sa katawan ang Pinay.
Kapag Pinay ang na-inlab, patay kang bata ka. Ang pagmamahal niya, kasing-lalim ng Bermuda Triangle , kasing-lakas ng buhos ng ulan tuwing June, kasing-init ng araw tuwing March, kasing-sarap ng lechon ng Cebu, batchoy ng Iloilo, sisig ng Trellis, sinigang na baboy ng Kamayan at isaw sa UP. Napakasarap. Nakakakilig. Nakaka-adik.
Pinay lang ang gusto kong lagi kasama. Sa tagal ko na dito sa America hindi pa ako nakakapunta sa Disneyland. Siguro dahil hinihintay ko na may makasama akong Pinay. Mas higit akong matutuwa kapag sumakay ako sa Thunder Mountain na may katabing Pinay na tumitili at labas ang ngala-ngala sa sobrang excitement. Mas higit din na masaya yung may kadaldalang Pinay habang kumakain ng pizza at popcorn. Mas nakaka aliw kung sa bawat picture na kukunin with Tazmanian Devil at Bugs Bunny ay may kasamang Pinay na nakangiti. Kasi, without a doubt, masarap kasama ang Pinay.
Nasisiraan na daw ako ng bait sabi ng mga officemates ko. Pwede naman daw makipag-date sa mga Kana eh bakit hanap pa ako nang hanap ng Pinay. Napakapihikan ko daw sa babae. So what? Isa lang alam ko, kung hindi rin lang Pinay, mabuti pang tumandang mag-isa.
Hay naku. Basta ang gusto ko, Pinay.
Monday, June 12, 2006
Wednesday, May 31, 2006
under the knife
about 4 hours from now, i will be in the operating room of makati medical center for my, well, operation. i know you might be wondering and concerned (hopefully) what in the world i would do there. well, this has been bothering me for some weeks now. i felt this lump which i actually did not mind at first. i thought it was just a tiny thing that would just soon go away. but it grew bigger and the pain.. ohhh!.. it just kills me. so i decided to visit the doctor last Monday at makati med. thanks to my intellicare card. it serves like a globe card in that old commercial where you can just flash it to them and voila! you can just stroll along the corridors of makati med even if you barely got 20 pesos in you pocket. So i waited for the doctor, and told him ( he looks sooo mabango.. well, all doctors naman yata e) about that lump. he told me the history of the lump and instantly diagnosed me to go through a minor operation! huwaatt! for someone like me who never frequents the hospital, this is one BIG THING! he told me that i really have to go through this to take it off as well as the possibility of it growing back. wow!
except for the colds i experience everyday after i'd wake up, i could say that i am gifted with a very good immune system. i don't have any childhood memory of being hospitalized. visits to pedia, yes, but more on vaccines and vitamins. i've had all kinds of sickness one normally goes through- measles, chicken pox, mumps- but i was never confined in a hospital. well, i experienced being moved within the emergency room once in a stretcher when i and a former officemate were hit by a vehicle along ayala ave. pathetic, i know. so this operation thing is actually making a mark in my health history. i'm not afraid though. i was even planning to go there alone despite my mom's being so kulit on accompanying me.. maybe, i am (again) trying to prove the fun, fearless female in me.
then i tried to imagine what they are going to do with me - the anesthesia, the knife, the laser, the possibility of blood, the bandage, medicines, the recuperation period and yes, the pain. nyay! and it started to scare me. so i really prayed that everything will go okay- the OR, the doctor's hands, eyes and mind, the tools he will use. I prayed for the readiness in me. this is a first for me and all firsts in my life are really memorable and full of anxieties/excitements. i also prayed for my work to allow me to do SL (sick leave) without affecting my compliance. of course, i can always file for SL but it will affect my compliance which later will affect my schedule bidding. as of writing, i got an answered prayer. my manager is already processing a pre-approved SL which will NOT affect my compliance! so i'll be out of the office and be back on Monday.
only 3 hours 42 minutes remaining. i'm still here in the office and writing this. later im going to meet mommy. i finally agreed that she accompanies me after i scared myself. and i agreed as well to stay in Valenzuela afterwards. please do pray for me. i hope everything goes well. i am hoping for an ouch-free operation. for your flowers and get-well-soon card/letters, you may send them either to my Valenzuela home or my Pasig apartment. You may also join my housemates for a surprise(!?) coming home/get well soon party they are preparing for me. just coordinate with them.
3 hours 30 minutes to go. at least after the operation, i wouldn't have to burden myself with this lump anymore. hay, this wart on the sole of my right foot is killing me!
except for the colds i experience everyday after i'd wake up, i could say that i am gifted with a very good immune system. i don't have any childhood memory of being hospitalized. visits to pedia, yes, but more on vaccines and vitamins. i've had all kinds of sickness one normally goes through- measles, chicken pox, mumps- but i was never confined in a hospital. well, i experienced being moved within the emergency room once in a stretcher when i and a former officemate were hit by a vehicle along ayala ave. pathetic, i know. so this operation thing is actually making a mark in my health history. i'm not afraid though. i was even planning to go there alone despite my mom's being so kulit on accompanying me.. maybe, i am (again) trying to prove the fun, fearless female in me.
then i tried to imagine what they are going to do with me - the anesthesia, the knife, the laser, the possibility of blood, the bandage, medicines, the recuperation period and yes, the pain. nyay! and it started to scare me. so i really prayed that everything will go okay- the OR, the doctor's hands, eyes and mind, the tools he will use. I prayed for the readiness in me. this is a first for me and all firsts in my life are really memorable and full of anxieties/excitements. i also prayed for my work to allow me to do SL (sick leave) without affecting my compliance. of course, i can always file for SL but it will affect my compliance which later will affect my schedule bidding. as of writing, i got an answered prayer. my manager is already processing a pre-approved SL which will NOT affect my compliance! so i'll be out of the office and be back on Monday.
only 3 hours 42 minutes remaining. i'm still here in the office and writing this. later im going to meet mommy. i finally agreed that she accompanies me after i scared myself. and i agreed as well to stay in Valenzuela afterwards. please do pray for me. i hope everything goes well. i am hoping for an ouch-free operation. for your flowers and get-well-soon card/letters, you may send them either to my Valenzuela home or my Pasig apartment. You may also join my housemates for a surprise(!?) coming home/get well soon party they are preparing for me. just coordinate with them.
3 hours 30 minutes to go. at least after the operation, i wouldn't have to burden myself with this lump anymore. hay, this wart on the sole of my right foot is killing me!
Wednesday, May 24, 2006
taxi ride (a fiction)
"Manong, pwedeng pakibilisan po ng konti."
Kung ako ang masusunod, mas gusto ko sanang magcommute. Namimiss ko na din kasi ang MRT station ng Quezon Ave at ang jeep na Pantranco-UP. Simula nung magtrabaho ako, ang buhay ko ay umiikot na lang sa Makati (dahil dun ako nagwowork) at sa Pasig (dahil dun ang apartment ko). Kaya lang, napatagal yata ako sa kakapili ng isusuot kanina, kaya eto't kailangang magtaxi. Hay, parang bumabaligtad ang sikmura ko ngayon. Hindi ko alam kung anxiety ba ito dahil malalate na ako o excitement dahil makikita kita. Kahit hindi masyado malamig ang aircon sa taxi, eto ako at pinagpapawisan ang mga kamay sa ginaw. Shaks!
Sana talaga hindi ako malate. Well, sandali na lang naman andun na ako. Binabagtas ko na ngayon ang University Ave. Hay, iba talaga ang UP. Huli yata akong napunta dito ay nung UP Fair. Pero sa tuwing pupunta ako, napakanostalgic ng lahat. Apat na taon ba naman ako namalagi dito e. Dito nag-aral, Dito tumira.
"Kakaliwa po dyan."
Ayan na si Oble. Kay tagal din niya akong inaruga sa kanyang mga bisig na nakadipa. Sabi nila ang tunay daw na ibig sabihin nito ay pag-aalay ng sarili. Tunay na iskolar. Minsan, naiisip ko din para siyang nanghahalina "Heto ako, halika at lasapin ang mga bagay na dito mo lang mararanasan". At tunay nga naman dahil bawat sulok ng paaralang ito ay nagsusumigaw na alaala ng makulay na lumipas.
"Tapos, kakanan po."
Napatingin ako sa cellphone ko. Limang minuto na akong late. Ang nakakinis, kung lagi akong late, ikaw naman ay kung hindi on time, lagi kang ahead of time. Naalala ko dati, pinaghintay kita ng tatlong oras sa Megamall dahil nakatulog ako. Akala mo nga hindi na ako darating e.
Malapit na ako. Ano na kaya ang itsura ko? Sana hindi naman ako mukhang ngarag pag nagkita na tayo. Lagi mo pa naman akong niloloko na magsuklay. Para kitang naririnig pag sinasabi mong "Ganda ng buhok mo ah. Subukan mo kayang magshampoo." Pero nung una tayong nanood ng sine, grabe! Sobrang tagal kong gumayak noon. Dito yun e. Tama, dito sa Film Center. Tatlo dapat tayo, kasama si best friend mo. Pero sa kahinahinalang dahilan, bigla na lang siyang nawala, hindi macontact sa cellphone. Nakakainis kasi di pa naman kita masyado kaclose noon e. Mas friends kami ni best friend mo. Kaya sobrang naiilang ako habang nanonood ng "Amores Peros".
Yakal. Ang ating dormitoryo. Dito kita unang minahal.
Hindi naman kita talaga crush noon e. Iba ang gusto ko pero ang kulit kasi ng best friend mo. Grabe kung ibuild up ka. Feeling ko noon pati buong wing natin kakuntsaba. Niloloko nila ako. May gusto ka daw sa akin. Hindi ako naniwala. Kaya inenjoy ko lang ang bawat oras na magkasama tayo nung naguumpisa na tayong maging close. Hanggang sa nakita ko na hindi lang pala pangbuild-up ang mga kinukwento ng best friend mo. Astig ka pala talaga! Wala kang arte nung minsan nagcandlelight dinner tayo sa Manang Eng. Sobrang gentleman ka 'pag naglalakad tayo ng madaling-araw galing library. Ang cute mo nung suot mo yung blue shirt mo. Ang bait mo din dahil sinamahan mo akong hintayin ang daddy ko nung last day natin sa dorm. Ako, for that sem. Ikaw, for your college life. Gagraduate ka na kasi e. Hindi na kita makikita. Hindi na makakasama.
Kaya nga pumayag ako nung ininvite ako ng best friend mo sa org niyo. Sabi niya sa akin lagi ka nandun. Ininvite mo na din ako nun pero hindi ako ready. Feeling ko kasi hindi ako bagay sa Christian org. Alam ko kailangan ko dahil nagpadala na ako sa radikal na paniniwala na napulot sa unibersidad. Nag-iiyak ako sa Diyos noon na Siya ang lumapit sa akin dahil sa hindi ko mapigilang dahilan, napapalayo na ako sa Kanya.
" Kuya, dyan na lang po sa tabi."
Alam ko, mali ang motivation ko nung una akong tumapak sa simbahang ito. Ikaw. Mali talaga at maraming beses akong nahiya sa Diyos noon. Pero ang dami ko namang natutunan habang tumatagal. Isa sa mga unang kong nadiskubre ay ang katotohanan na may mundo ka na bago pa man ako dumating. Kasabay ng realisasyong unti-unti nang nahulog ang loob ko sayo ay ang katotohanang may mahal ka ng iba. At bawat araw na nagkakalapit tayo ay parang punyal na itinuturok sa akin. Sa bawat pagkakataong ikukuwento mo siya sa akin, gusto ko na lang biglang mawalan ng pandinig. Ramdam kong mahal mo sya kahit na sa iba na nakatuon ang kanyang pansin. Sa tuwina'y para tayong gumagawa ng music video habang kinakanta ni Bituin Escalante ang "Kung Ako na Lang Sana".
Alam ko, hanggang doon na lang yon. Hanggang sa magandang pagkakaibigan na lang. Pero okay lang. Nang pinasok ko ang mundo mo ay maraming kamay na sumalo sa akin. Mga taong mahalaga din sayo. Mga taong hindi ko na din kayang mawala sa buhay ko. Naaalala ko pa, may mga taong dumamay sa akin nung panahong durog-durog ang puso ko mamg dahil sa'yo. Alam kong mahal ako ng Diyos. Alam Niya kung ano ang laman ng damdamin ko. Kaya pinagdasal kita. Araw-araw. Minsan kasama ko pang magdasal ang ilang kaibigan natin. Minsan iniisip ko, napakaimposible na ng pinagdadasal ko. Pero naniwala ako noon na balang-araw, ibibigay ka sa akin.
Shaks! Ikaw na nga ba yun? Natatanaw na kita habang nagmamadali ako sa pagpasok.
Ang tagal na din simula noong mga araw na ipinagdarasal kita. Ilang taon na ba ang lumipas? Dalawa na ba o tatlo? Apat na yata. Hindi ko na din makalkula. Bigla ko na lang ding tinigilan. Hindi sa hindi ako naniniwala na kayang ibigay ng Panginoon ang gusto ko. Kaya lang, baka may iba siyang plano. Baka iba ang para sa akin. Basta ang importante, magkaibigan pa rin tayo. Kahit na hindi na tayo madalas nagkikita, lagi naman tayong updated sa isa't-isa. Magkasama pa din sa gimik. Nagbabalitaan ng mga buhay-buhay habang bawat isa sa atin ay hinahanap ang lugar sa mundong ito.
Naging saksi ako nung muli kang sumubok sa larangan ng pag-big. Suportado pa naman kita noon pero ewan ko nga ba kung bakit bigla na lang natapos. Pinagsabihan pa nga kita na baka nasa iyo ang problema dahil ang alam ko, gusto ka niya talaga. Nandun ka din naman nung nagkadurog-durog ako nang muli akong nagmahal. Sa bawat kwento ko, alam kong ramdam mo din ang sakit. Dahil nasaktan talaga ako. At gaya ng dati, ayun, umiyak na naman ako sa Kanya. Ang tanga ko kasi. Akala ko naisurrender ko na sa Kanya ang puso ko para Siya na ang mag-alaga. All this time pala, hawak-hawak ko lang. Ginagamitan ng sariling diskarte.
"Sorry late ako. Kanina pa ba nagsimula?"
Pero matagal na din yun. Buti na lang close na kami uli ni Lord. Alam ko na sa sarili ko na hindi na uli mangyayari na magmamahal ako na wala Siya sa akin. Sobrang naappreciate ko nga nung sinamahan mo akong magsimba. Sobrang mahalaga sa akin yung araw na yun.
" Okay lang, Baby, kauumpisa pa lang din."
Importante sa akin ang araw na yun dahil nun mo sinabi ang mga salitang akala ko'y hindi ko maririnig mula sa'yo. Mukha kang tanga noon, pulang-pula, hindi mapakali, pinagpapawisan ng sobra. Ako din, kinakabahan. Hindi inaasahan ang mga pangyayaring nagaganap sa harapan ko. Noong araw na yon mo sinabi sa akin na mahal mo ako.
"Okay ka lang ba?", tanong mo sa akin sabay hawak sa kamay ko.
"Okay na ako." Sino ba naman ang hindi? Kasama na kita. Ikaw na sa aki'y ibinigay Niya.
Kung ako ang masusunod, mas gusto ko sanang magcommute. Namimiss ko na din kasi ang MRT station ng Quezon Ave at ang jeep na Pantranco-UP. Simula nung magtrabaho ako, ang buhay ko ay umiikot na lang sa Makati (dahil dun ako nagwowork) at sa Pasig (dahil dun ang apartment ko). Kaya lang, napatagal yata ako sa kakapili ng isusuot kanina, kaya eto't kailangang magtaxi. Hay, parang bumabaligtad ang sikmura ko ngayon. Hindi ko alam kung anxiety ba ito dahil malalate na ako o excitement dahil makikita kita. Kahit hindi masyado malamig ang aircon sa taxi, eto ako at pinagpapawisan ang mga kamay sa ginaw. Shaks!
Sana talaga hindi ako malate. Well, sandali na lang naman andun na ako. Binabagtas ko na ngayon ang University Ave. Hay, iba talaga ang UP. Huli yata akong napunta dito ay nung UP Fair. Pero sa tuwing pupunta ako, napakanostalgic ng lahat. Apat na taon ba naman ako namalagi dito e. Dito nag-aral, Dito tumira.
"Kakaliwa po dyan."
Ayan na si Oble. Kay tagal din niya akong inaruga sa kanyang mga bisig na nakadipa. Sabi nila ang tunay daw na ibig sabihin nito ay pag-aalay ng sarili. Tunay na iskolar. Minsan, naiisip ko din para siyang nanghahalina "Heto ako, halika at lasapin ang mga bagay na dito mo lang mararanasan". At tunay nga naman dahil bawat sulok ng paaralang ito ay nagsusumigaw na alaala ng makulay na lumipas.
"Tapos, kakanan po."
Napatingin ako sa cellphone ko. Limang minuto na akong late. Ang nakakinis, kung lagi akong late, ikaw naman ay kung hindi on time, lagi kang ahead of time. Naalala ko dati, pinaghintay kita ng tatlong oras sa Megamall dahil nakatulog ako. Akala mo nga hindi na ako darating e.
Malapit na ako. Ano na kaya ang itsura ko? Sana hindi naman ako mukhang ngarag pag nagkita na tayo. Lagi mo pa naman akong niloloko na magsuklay. Para kitang naririnig pag sinasabi mong "Ganda ng buhok mo ah. Subukan mo kayang magshampoo." Pero nung una tayong nanood ng sine, grabe! Sobrang tagal kong gumayak noon. Dito yun e. Tama, dito sa Film Center. Tatlo dapat tayo, kasama si best friend mo. Pero sa kahinahinalang dahilan, bigla na lang siyang nawala, hindi macontact sa cellphone. Nakakainis kasi di pa naman kita masyado kaclose noon e. Mas friends kami ni best friend mo. Kaya sobrang naiilang ako habang nanonood ng "Amores Peros".
Yakal. Ang ating dormitoryo. Dito kita unang minahal.
Hindi naman kita talaga crush noon e. Iba ang gusto ko pero ang kulit kasi ng best friend mo. Grabe kung ibuild up ka. Feeling ko noon pati buong wing natin kakuntsaba. Niloloko nila ako. May gusto ka daw sa akin. Hindi ako naniwala. Kaya inenjoy ko lang ang bawat oras na magkasama tayo nung naguumpisa na tayong maging close. Hanggang sa nakita ko na hindi lang pala pangbuild-up ang mga kinukwento ng best friend mo. Astig ka pala talaga! Wala kang arte nung minsan nagcandlelight dinner tayo sa Manang Eng. Sobrang gentleman ka 'pag naglalakad tayo ng madaling-araw galing library. Ang cute mo nung suot mo yung blue shirt mo. Ang bait mo din dahil sinamahan mo akong hintayin ang daddy ko nung last day natin sa dorm. Ako, for that sem. Ikaw, for your college life. Gagraduate ka na kasi e. Hindi na kita makikita. Hindi na makakasama.
Kaya nga pumayag ako nung ininvite ako ng best friend mo sa org niyo. Sabi niya sa akin lagi ka nandun. Ininvite mo na din ako nun pero hindi ako ready. Feeling ko kasi hindi ako bagay sa Christian org. Alam ko kailangan ko dahil nagpadala na ako sa radikal na paniniwala na napulot sa unibersidad. Nag-iiyak ako sa Diyos noon na Siya ang lumapit sa akin dahil sa hindi ko mapigilang dahilan, napapalayo na ako sa Kanya.
" Kuya, dyan na lang po sa tabi."
Alam ko, mali ang motivation ko nung una akong tumapak sa simbahang ito. Ikaw. Mali talaga at maraming beses akong nahiya sa Diyos noon. Pero ang dami ko namang natutunan habang tumatagal. Isa sa mga unang kong nadiskubre ay ang katotohanan na may mundo ka na bago pa man ako dumating. Kasabay ng realisasyong unti-unti nang nahulog ang loob ko sayo ay ang katotohanang may mahal ka ng iba. At bawat araw na nagkakalapit tayo ay parang punyal na itinuturok sa akin. Sa bawat pagkakataong ikukuwento mo siya sa akin, gusto ko na lang biglang mawalan ng pandinig. Ramdam kong mahal mo sya kahit na sa iba na nakatuon ang kanyang pansin. Sa tuwina'y para tayong gumagawa ng music video habang kinakanta ni Bituin Escalante ang "Kung Ako na Lang Sana".
Alam ko, hanggang doon na lang yon. Hanggang sa magandang pagkakaibigan na lang. Pero okay lang. Nang pinasok ko ang mundo mo ay maraming kamay na sumalo sa akin. Mga taong mahalaga din sayo. Mga taong hindi ko na din kayang mawala sa buhay ko. Naaalala ko pa, may mga taong dumamay sa akin nung panahong durog-durog ang puso ko mamg dahil sa'yo. Alam kong mahal ako ng Diyos. Alam Niya kung ano ang laman ng damdamin ko. Kaya pinagdasal kita. Araw-araw. Minsan kasama ko pang magdasal ang ilang kaibigan natin. Minsan iniisip ko, napakaimposible na ng pinagdadasal ko. Pero naniwala ako noon na balang-araw, ibibigay ka sa akin.
Shaks! Ikaw na nga ba yun? Natatanaw na kita habang nagmamadali ako sa pagpasok.
Ang tagal na din simula noong mga araw na ipinagdarasal kita. Ilang taon na ba ang lumipas? Dalawa na ba o tatlo? Apat na yata. Hindi ko na din makalkula. Bigla ko na lang ding tinigilan. Hindi sa hindi ako naniniwala na kayang ibigay ng Panginoon ang gusto ko. Kaya lang, baka may iba siyang plano. Baka iba ang para sa akin. Basta ang importante, magkaibigan pa rin tayo. Kahit na hindi na tayo madalas nagkikita, lagi naman tayong updated sa isa't-isa. Magkasama pa din sa gimik. Nagbabalitaan ng mga buhay-buhay habang bawat isa sa atin ay hinahanap ang lugar sa mundong ito.
Naging saksi ako nung muli kang sumubok sa larangan ng pag-big. Suportado pa naman kita noon pero ewan ko nga ba kung bakit bigla na lang natapos. Pinagsabihan pa nga kita na baka nasa iyo ang problema dahil ang alam ko, gusto ka niya talaga. Nandun ka din naman nung nagkadurog-durog ako nang muli akong nagmahal. Sa bawat kwento ko, alam kong ramdam mo din ang sakit. Dahil nasaktan talaga ako. At gaya ng dati, ayun, umiyak na naman ako sa Kanya. Ang tanga ko kasi. Akala ko naisurrender ko na sa Kanya ang puso ko para Siya na ang mag-alaga. All this time pala, hawak-hawak ko lang. Ginagamitan ng sariling diskarte.
"Sorry late ako. Kanina pa ba nagsimula?"
Pero matagal na din yun. Buti na lang close na kami uli ni Lord. Alam ko na sa sarili ko na hindi na uli mangyayari na magmamahal ako na wala Siya sa akin. Sobrang naappreciate ko nga nung sinamahan mo akong magsimba. Sobrang mahalaga sa akin yung araw na yun.
" Okay lang, Baby, kauumpisa pa lang din."
Importante sa akin ang araw na yun dahil nun mo sinabi ang mga salitang akala ko'y hindi ko maririnig mula sa'yo. Mukha kang tanga noon, pulang-pula, hindi mapakali, pinagpapawisan ng sobra. Ako din, kinakabahan. Hindi inaasahan ang mga pangyayaring nagaganap sa harapan ko. Noong araw na yon mo sinabi sa akin na mahal mo ako.
"Okay ka lang ba?", tanong mo sa akin sabay hawak sa kamay ko.
"Okay na ako." Sino ba naman ang hindi? Kasama na kita. Ikaw na sa aki'y ibinigay Niya.
Monday, March 27, 2006
sandalan
How did I ever let You out of my life?
Or maybe the question was how was I able to survive,
to survive that long…
it was so dark without You.
The light had been chasing me.
but I ran away…
i can’t run no more.
my knees are too weak to take any step further.
bruises had been enveloping me
but with Your touch , they were all gone.
carry me.
bring me back to that place of rest.
heal my wounds..
wrap my heart in Your arms..
keep it and make it safe.
forgive me..
let me cry.
If God is 6cyclemind, he would have long been singing this song to me…
Kanina pa kita pinagmamasdan
Mukha mo’y di maipinta
Malungkot ka na naman
Kanina pa kitang inaalok nang
Kuwentuhang masaya
Parang sa’yo’y balewala
Sandali nga
Teka lang
May nakalimutan ka
Di ba’t pwede mo akong iyakan
Sige lang
Sandal ka na
At wag mong pipigilan
Iiyak mo na ang lahat sa langit
Iiyak mo lang ang lahat sa akin
Andito lang ako naghihintay
Lagi mong tatandaan
Di ka naman nag-iisa
Andito lang ako makikinig sayo
Sa buong magdamag
Sa’kin di ka balewala
Sige lang
Sandal ka na
At wag mong pipigilan
Iiyak mo na ang lahat sa langit
Iiyak mo lang ang lahat sa akin
Sige lang
Sige lang sige lang
Or maybe the question was how was I able to survive,
to survive that long…
it was so dark without You.
The light had been chasing me.
but I ran away…
i can’t run no more.
my knees are too weak to take any step further.
bruises had been enveloping me
but with Your touch , they were all gone.
carry me.
bring me back to that place of rest.
heal my wounds..
wrap my heart in Your arms..
keep it and make it safe.
forgive me..
let me cry.
If God is 6cyclemind, he would have long been singing this song to me…
Kanina pa kita pinagmamasdan
Mukha mo’y di maipinta
Malungkot ka na naman
Kanina pa kitang inaalok nang
Kuwentuhang masaya
Parang sa’yo’y balewala
Sandali nga
Teka lang
May nakalimutan ka
Di ba’t pwede mo akong iyakan
Sige lang
Sandal ka na
At wag mong pipigilan
Iiyak mo na ang lahat sa langit
Iiyak mo lang ang lahat sa akin
Andito lang ako naghihintay
Lagi mong tatandaan
Di ka naman nag-iisa
Andito lang ako makikinig sayo
Sa buong magdamag
Sa’kin di ka balewala
Sige lang
Sandal ka na
At wag mong pipigilan
Iiyak mo na ang lahat sa langit
Iiyak mo lang ang lahat sa akin
Sige lang
Sige lang sige lang
Wednesday, January 25, 2006
home
I woke up this morning and had been lost for a moment.
Where am i?
Instead of lying in my some-kinda-bed in an apartment shared with friends, i found my vimless body in the old Salem bed i've been accustomed to sleep on for the first 16 years of my life.
Once again, i took a moment, breathed. I think i need some air. How long have I been sleeping?
I looked around and saw posters of vince hizon and allan caidic all over, the cynosures of this room. on the far end, there's my old 14" black and white tv, the very first item I was able to buy with my own money at a very, very young age. just look at what my numerous piggy bank-saved 10 cents brought me. just beside the bed is the AM/FM radio that accompanied me during my first dose of heartbreaks, during kilig moments and at times when I just wanted to stay late and shift to senti mode (ironically, 11 PM was already late for me back then). and of course, to complete the scene, i heard the thundering sound of the vociferous tricycles that used to wake me up in time for my 7am science class.i have to remind myself to have this
room soundproofed someday!
at that moment, i felt i was high school again.
though my room hasn't changed a lot except for some added dust on top of the drawers and tables, everything around me seemed to. our house which used to be filled with my and my sister's laughters and little bitchiness is now barren with only my tita and lola for residents. Inang, as I fondly call the woman who gave birth to my mom, is now in her tiniest body form ever and her little alzheimer's is in its biggest blow driving my relatives all crazy. my cousin who had married 3 months ago is now preggy with a 4-month old baby. her sister will soon wed this summer. another cousin is now a father of a twin. well, speaking of babies, cats have been flocking the roof of our house which used to be a kingdom only for Muning,a white cat whose
uterus seemed to be a factory of kittens. now, Muning is gone and i am not really sure if these cats are of her family lineage.
The resort accross the street closed down. The pools once full of blue water giving joy to the kiddos of our barangay now serve as playgrounds to little hopping green creatures. I have to mention that being a neighbor to these pools did not help me learn swimming at all. My silent next-door neighbor, the little boy I kidded with, who just came home from Manila schooling is now a total hunk. My next-door neighbor is now a total hunk!! He is now a total hunk!!! ok... i have to get over that now.. The next-door neighbor of my next-door neighbor who is now a total hunk (so basically, he lived in the next,next house from mine) no longer lives there. What could have happened to him? Married? I remember he once had his hair totally blonde and I found it adorable. Yuck!
Some neighbors who are not related by blood used to treat each other as families. Today, blotter records in the barangay hall seem to be their only bond. Little kids grew to puberty. New families formed. Houses renovated. Stores closed. New establishments rose. The once cool guys are now fathers forming their beer bellies. And the girl tweetums now have little babies tagging along.
Six years have passed... Why am I feeling like a stranger to my homeland?
Sometimes I envy my high school friends who stayed. They are now ninongs and ninangs of each others' children. Some are officemates enjoying their own Friday night gimiks. They have created this special kind of bond. The kind I only share with few classmates who went with me and crossed the borders of Nueva Ecija off to the jungle of Diliman. The only difference with me is when I took step in the world of the metro, my family followed shortly after a year, decided to try our luck in this new place. so unlike belle or katre or allan, my dormmate friends who have been known to me since grade 1, I did not travel to cabanatuan during weekends. but please don't get me wrong if there might be a tinge of regrets in my lines. i might have lost the
could-have-been-wonderful friendship with my old classmates but hey, i was blessed with so many friends here as well. and these people are so amazing, i can't help but be grateful. moreover, my move here introduced me to a whole new world i am just glad i learned of.
then came the time to leave. the little visit is over.
despite the feeling of being "out-of-place in my own place", i felt good coming home.the changes were too obvious, they are getting into me. but what is important is the fact that the more significant things remain.
just like the hugs of my tita whenever i'm home, how she would insist for me to take time off work and spend a longer vacation there, and how she would cry whenever i would leave. the look in my grandma's eyes as she would kiss my hand and call me "apo" but later on would ask me" kanino ka na ngang anak?". the bond i share with my cousins, how we are supportive of each other and the fact that they believe in me big time.
this will forever be the place where i first felt loved and treasured, where the early foundations of my character were built. this is where i first cry,wept, rejoiced, triumphed and felt all the emotions in between. this place gave me comfort. this place is home. who i am now is part of this lovely place, my lovely little past.
i left teh place with a heavy heart. stranger no more...
Where am i?
Instead of lying in my some-kinda-bed in an apartment shared with friends, i found my vimless body in the old Salem bed i've been accustomed to sleep on for the first 16 years of my life.
Once again, i took a moment, breathed. I think i need some air. How long have I been sleeping?
I looked around and saw posters of vince hizon and allan caidic all over, the cynosures of this room. on the far end, there's my old 14" black and white tv, the very first item I was able to buy with my own money at a very, very young age. just look at what my numerous piggy bank-saved 10 cents brought me. just beside the bed is the AM/FM radio that accompanied me during my first dose of heartbreaks, during kilig moments and at times when I just wanted to stay late and shift to senti mode (ironically, 11 PM was already late for me back then). and of course, to complete the scene, i heard the thundering sound of the vociferous tricycles that used to wake me up in time for my 7am science class.i have to remind myself to have this
room soundproofed someday!
at that moment, i felt i was high school again.
though my room hasn't changed a lot except for some added dust on top of the drawers and tables, everything around me seemed to. our house which used to be filled with my and my sister's laughters and little bitchiness is now barren with only my tita and lola for residents. Inang, as I fondly call the woman who gave birth to my mom, is now in her tiniest body form ever and her little alzheimer's is in its biggest blow driving my relatives all crazy. my cousin who had married 3 months ago is now preggy with a 4-month old baby. her sister will soon wed this summer. another cousin is now a father of a twin. well, speaking of babies, cats have been flocking the roof of our house which used to be a kingdom only for Muning,a white cat whose
uterus seemed to be a factory of kittens. now, Muning is gone and i am not really sure if these cats are of her family lineage.
The resort accross the street closed down. The pools once full of blue water giving joy to the kiddos of our barangay now serve as playgrounds to little hopping green creatures. I have to mention that being a neighbor to these pools did not help me learn swimming at all. My silent next-door neighbor, the little boy I kidded with, who just came home from Manila schooling is now a total hunk. My next-door neighbor is now a total hunk!! He is now a total hunk!!! ok... i have to get over that now.. The next-door neighbor of my next-door neighbor who is now a total hunk (so basically, he lived in the next,next house from mine) no longer lives there. What could have happened to him? Married? I remember he once had his hair totally blonde and I found it adorable. Yuck!
Some neighbors who are not related by blood used to treat each other as families. Today, blotter records in the barangay hall seem to be their only bond. Little kids grew to puberty. New families formed. Houses renovated. Stores closed. New establishments rose. The once cool guys are now fathers forming their beer bellies. And the girl tweetums now have little babies tagging along.
Six years have passed... Why am I feeling like a stranger to my homeland?
Sometimes I envy my high school friends who stayed. They are now ninongs and ninangs of each others' children. Some are officemates enjoying their own Friday night gimiks. They have created this special kind of bond. The kind I only share with few classmates who went with me and crossed the borders of Nueva Ecija off to the jungle of Diliman. The only difference with me is when I took step in the world of the metro, my family followed shortly after a year, decided to try our luck in this new place. so unlike belle or katre or allan, my dormmate friends who have been known to me since grade 1, I did not travel to cabanatuan during weekends. but please don't get me wrong if there might be a tinge of regrets in my lines. i might have lost the
could-have-been-wonderful friendship with my old classmates but hey, i was blessed with so many friends here as well. and these people are so amazing, i can't help but be grateful. moreover, my move here introduced me to a whole new world i am just glad i learned of.
then came the time to leave. the little visit is over.
despite the feeling of being "out-of-place in my own place", i felt good coming home.the changes were too obvious, they are getting into me. but what is important is the fact that the more significant things remain.
just like the hugs of my tita whenever i'm home, how she would insist for me to take time off work and spend a longer vacation there, and how she would cry whenever i would leave. the look in my grandma's eyes as she would kiss my hand and call me "apo" but later on would ask me" kanino ka na ngang anak?". the bond i share with my cousins, how we are supportive of each other and the fact that they believe in me big time.
this will forever be the place where i first felt loved and treasured, where the early foundations of my character were built. this is where i first cry,wept, rejoiced, triumphed and felt all the emotions in between. this place gave me comfort. this place is home. who i am now is part of this lovely place, my lovely little past.
i left teh place with a heavy heart. stranger no more...
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