fallen

just trying to look into old stuffs when i saw an old notebook with this song. my first band-like performance in Yakal during Jologs200k with ew1 pips.. original composition by smith.




Smith on guitar
Ralph on drum ( 1 lang)
Leya on bass guitar
Glenny and Leslie for vocals
on violin, oh my i forgot his name but i'll edit this as soon as i remember his name

and so it goes...

Chorus:
Fallen over you
It's just so hard to do
I've kept it all inside
After all this time

I
Lately, I've been falling over you
Lately, I've been looking for your smile
Maybe you have fallen for me too
Baby, can't you see

* Chorus

II
Lately, you've been walking by my side
Lately, all the teardrops seem to hide
Maybe you've been running through my mind
Baby, could it be?

* Repeat chorus till fade

left alone

(a poem written for me by a friend as this describes daw how stupid i am with love..i don't know if that's a compliment but to that friend, thanks! =)...)

you laughed,
i smiled.
you wept,
i cried.
what you began,
i finished.
what you started,
i furnished.

you hoped,
i wished.
you jumped,
i leapt.
you watched her,
while i stared at you.
you longed for her,
i prayed for you.

you gave her
what i offered.
you brought her
what i sought.
you thought of her
when i dreamt of you.

when you won her
i lost you.


.

L.S.S.

2nd day at the training room just ended. yup! after 8 months on the floor, i'm back in training again. not retraining though. im way too good for that.. wahaha.. seriously, im just gonna play the part of the training assistant for a bunch of aspiring agents. this means a lot of things to me.. time off the phone , petiks moments, got to meet other people, do a little power-tripping, new environment being on the 29th flr this time, a new sked, and the thing is that i'm basically doing nothing! the good part is i'm being paid for that.. im just asked to share my experiences and assist in teaching the systems. and oh, we listen to music (cds) as well.. not bad for a job, huh!

speaking of music, here's my LSS. loved it the first time i heard it sang by Lea Salonga in her Broadway Concert.. enjoy..=)

I Don't Know How To Love Him
(from the play Jesus Christ Superstar)

I don't know how to love him
What to do, how to move him
I've been changed, yes really changed
In these past few days
When I've seen myself
I seem like someone else

I don't know how to take this
I don't see why he moves me
He's a man
He's just a man
And I've had so many
Men before
In very many ways
He's just one more

Should I bring him down
Should I scream and shout
Should I speak of love
Let my feelings out?
I never thought I'd come to this
What's it all about?

Don't you think it's rather funny
I should be in this position?
I'm the one
Who's always been
So calm so cool
No lover's fool
Running every show
He scares me so
I never thought I'd come to this
What's it all about?

Yet
If he said he loved me
I'd be lost
I'd be frightened
I couldn't cope
Just couldn't cope
I'd turn my head
I'd back away
I wouldn't want to know
He scares me so
I want him so
I love him so

sonnet xvii:love

(an appetizer for the love month.. pirated from the pages of the ew1 boys' logbook.. yup, the logbook's with me. don't tell rey.. hehe.. shhhh...)


i don't love you as if you were the salt-rose, topaz
or arrow of carnation that propagate fire;
i love you as certain dark things are loved
secretly, between the shadow and the soul.
i love you as the plant that doesn't bloom and carries
hidden within itself the light of those flowers,
and thanks to your love, darkly in my body
lives the dense fragrance that rises from the earth.

i love you without knowing how, or when, or from where,
i love you simply without problems or pride;
i love you in this way because i don't know any other way of loving.

but this, in which there is no I or you,
so intimate that your hand upon my chest is my hand,
so intimate that when i fall asleep it is your eyes that close.

--pablo neruda

Self-Serendipity

(accidentally discovering yourself after losing it)

After a night of all-out singing and after watching a movie I so long wanted to see, I realized something...

I've lost myself.

I am not the person I thought I would become. My priorities have changed, leading me to a life I never thought living. Others may call it maturity. Some might not even notice. But to me, it's maneouver, changing lanes or maybe more of turning to a different direction.

Where had the funny, optimistic, hopeless romantic girl gone? How could I just trade all I dreamt of for the sake of convenience?

Well, of course, this is a little safer. And the Me-now will be satisfied. But safety and satisfaction does not guarantee happiness and fulfillment. No regrets though. Never. Not even a bit. I still know what I want and am still praying for it to happen. But the Me-now, with all the life's lessons and maturity, should look for the Me-I used to know, the Me- I've Iost, to be the Me-I wanted to be -- the Real-Me.